No Ifs, No Butts: Shooters Shafted On Glorious Twelfth!

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On the first day of the grouse shooting season, hunt saboteurs have shut down a huge driven shoot in the Yorkshire Dales.

HSA spotting teams were on patrol from early morning across vast swathes of upland England. As expected, those in the Peak District drew a blank: shooters there have learnt its best to stay in bed on the Glorious Twelfth!

Spotters further north had more to do, quickly locating a large convoy of beaters and shooters assembling on Abbotside Common, near Hawes.

HSA
Moor trouble: sabs blockade the shooting party.

The main body of sabs was quickly on the scene, climbing the moor in sweltering conditions and bringing all shooting to a halt!

Sabs were delighted to see that the shoot appeared to have wasted money on Countrywatch, an inept ‘security’ company who claim to specialise in protecting hunt and shoots. Their hired ‘muscle’ caused nothing but mirth, with the only serious concern being for the welfare of a poor Belgian shepherd dog that had been dragged on to the moors in 35° heat.

A hideous, slavering creature…and an Alsatian.
A hideous, slavering creature…and a dog.

A more serious threat was presented by the police, who arrived in an assortment of vans, cars and even scrambling motorbikes. Unfortunately, many of the officers appeared to be suffering from severe heatstroke, accusing sabs of trespassing on what was obviously open access land. One particularly confused officer began trying to de-mask sabs before being bundled away by his colleagues. Despite these distractions, sabs stood their ground and the shoot was abandoned.

Victory! Sabs escort the shooters off the moor.
Victory! Sabs escort the shooters off the moor.

A HSA spokesperson commented from the scene,

“On the day that drought was declared across the country, grouse shooters have taken to tinder-dry moorland to blast away at our wildlife. What are they thinking? Every year, these selfish, entitled people kill hundreds of thousands of birds, burn precious upland areas and litter the landscape with traps and snares. Our message to grouse shooters is a simple one: expect us.”

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